Thy Will Be Done

Our Father

Oh Abba, Papa, thank You there is only You; You, alone, are our Father, and all of us are Your children.  Thank You for the immeasurable grace in this.  Thank You for the peace You give me (like a child suckled at her mother’s breast) that there is nothing I can do or not do that would make me not Your child.  No matter what I think of others from time to time, I am so glad and grateful that they are Your children too; there is simply no other camp in which to pitch my tent!  Thank You dearest Papa that You Are Our Father.  Blessed be Your Holy Name!

Who art in heaven

Papa, I don’t quite “get” this part today.  Dearest Jesus, forgive me, but what do I care that You are in heaven?  I need You here on earth, with me, in my heart, in my head, in my marrow.  Dearest Jesus, I don’t doubt that You are holy and “art in heaven.”. It’s just that that doesn’t mean a whole lot to me today.  And I’m confessing this to You so that You can change my heart about this if You want to.  I’m not sure that I can do anything about this whatsoever, except to confess my emptiness to You.  Lord-God, I am sad, I am empty, and today, I am sad about my emptiness.  Yet, I know that sometimes I rejoice for my emptiness, because I know You can and are glad to fill me with Yourself.  If my soul’s relation to the concept of You being “in Heaven” is anything like my state of emptiness, please do what You will.  Do what You will regardless!

Hallowed be Thy Name

Oh Yes! Dearest Daddy!  Hallowed be Your Name!  Blessed be the Name of Jesus!  Holy art Thou!  Thank You for Your Holy Spirit.  Thank You too for my secret name.  You name each of us, and You call us by name, and You give us a secret eternal name.  Oh Abba!  We are not numbers, and You are not a concept!  You Are!  Blessed be Your Holy Name!

Thy kingdom come

Thy kingdom.  For anything that is Yours, I thank You and praise You.  But what is a kingdom?  My mind doesn’t know how to receive that metaphor for Your domain.  My heart responds to Home.  My heart responds to big open fields.  My heart rejoices for the ocean.  My heart is sweetly and simply grateful for my bed where I can rest in peace.  A kingdom sounds like a lot of work!  A kingdom sounds so worldly to me!  A kingdom sounds like a whole bunch of levels of power.  Lord-God, I bow before You grateful that Your power is Love.  Thank You for showing me Your power in Christ on the Cross.  Yes, even on the Cross.  What wondrous Love it must be to give one’s life freely for a world full of wretches like me.  Did Jesus know He would resurrect on the third day.  I have to believe so because Your Word tells us of Him preparing the disciples. But, in His humanity, did He know, like I thinking of knowing?  What was the nature of His certainty?  When I was little I took comfort in believing that Jesus knew everything in advance, and that that knowing somehow made everything less painful or frightening for Him.  Now I wonder.  It’s in believing that we find certainty.  It’s in faith in You, Your Person, that we find life-giving Hope.  I rather doubt that Jesus suffered any less for all that He knew.  Now I imagine He suffered all the more.  Oh, Papa, when Jesus gave up His Spirit to You while hanging on the Cross, I rest all my Hope today in that act of faith by Christ.  There is my Hope.  Jesus trusted You.  That is how I experience Your Kingdom today.

Thy will be done

Amen.  But how do I discern Your will?  I can’t even do that without You revealing Yourself to me.  And even then I can’t even be faithful without Your grace.  Dearest Papa, safeguard me in Your will; I am completely dependant upon You.

On earth as it is in heaven.

What a large goal You have!  Forgive me for the smallness of my faith.  Yet, that’s where I am today.  How about You start in my heart as it is in Christ’s.  Whoa!  Even that is huge!  Papa!  You really must do it all!  All I can say is please, please, come in; I am not worthy that You should enter under my roof, but only say the word, and my soul shall be healed.

Give us this day

Yes, Lord; this I can pray.  THIS day.  Give us THIS day, one moment at a time, one step at a time, one gift to be shared at a time.

our daily bread.

Thank You dearest Papa that You provide everything my being could ever truly need.  Thank You for family, home, food, music.  Thank You most of all for letting me converse with You.  You are my sustenance.

And forgive us our trespasses

THANK YOU dearest Lord for Your forgiveness.  I sit here in silence thanking You.  What words can there be good enough to thank You?  Papa, I believe You forgive us everything all the time!  I believe Your forgiveness is unconditional!  You always take the initiative!  Sometimes I think some people would have me believe that You forgive WHEN we repent and say we’re sorry etc.  All these things we do to respond to You can be good and wonderful because they are ways You give us to give our assent to You.  But You have already forgiven us!  Your goodness is not dependant upon our response!  You are Good!  You are Love!  You are Mercy!  You are Just!  You are God!

As we forgive others who trespass against us.

So yes, here’s the kicker!  Help me Lord to forgive like You forgive.  I know You grow me in this; please help me keep growing.  Help me remember with gratitude what this reveals to me of You.  Lord have mercy; Christ have mercy; Lord have mercy.

Lead us not into temptation

Oh, Papa, even though it seems to me that I’m tempted by fewer things or smaller things, it also seems to me that temptations come upon me before I even notice them.  I’m already partly conquered before I recognize the temptation for what it is.  Ach du lieber!  And by the way, “lead us not”?  Would You really ever LEAD me into temptation?  I don’t think so!  You might lead me into a “desert,” and You might test and refine me in fiery furnaces, but actually lead INTO TEMPTATION?  I don’t think so.  I think You give me Yourself to guard me and guide me in Your Way.  And when for Your purposes of holiness, You allow me to experience temptation, You give me Your graces to choose You over all else.  What I experience as a challenge these days is in understanding where is the window of my choosing?  I would love to let go of everything!  But if that’s what I would really love to do, is that selfish of me?  Or is that You calling me?  In submitting to participating in things that look like others’ twisted agendas, is my submission what You want?  Or is my “letting go” (dropping out) what You want?  Or is it that You just want me to no longer care one way or the other?  Oh Lord, I don’t know how to not care.  I don’t know how to value not caring.  It feels so sterile to me.  It feels so barren.  Papa, Papa!  My God, my God!  Why have You forsaken me?  Psalm 22.  Psalm 23.  Good Shepherd, let me not be made crazy by the chaos and darkness of the valley of death.  Your staff and Your rod, they comfort me.

But deliver us from all evil.

Praise be the Lord.  Blessed be Thou forever!  Now THIS I KNOW!  You deliver!  I do trust You Abba.  It’s myself I don’t trust.  I am completely dependant upon You.  Hold me fast.

For Thine is the Kingdom, the power, and the glory

Worthy is the Lamb!  Worthy art Thou!  And Thou alone!  Praise You!

Now

Oh, THANK You Lord for the infinity of Now.

and forever.

My hope is in You, Lord.

Amen.

And amen!

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